Thursday, January 21, 2010

Changing: Calls and Individuals

Yesterday was a mile-stone in my journey towards ordination in the UMC. I had my certification interview with the District Committee on Ordained Ministry (DCOM). This is a BIG step in the candidacy process for UMCers...it's kind of a plateau--a goal to reach where you can rest for a while, take a deep breath, and plunge back into the process. Certification affords you additional recognition that your calling is being affirmed, as well as the more tangible--it qualifies you for extra scholarship money :) In my conference, it's up to 50% of tuition.

So...anyway...to make a long story short(er), you fill out all kinds of paperwork (apparently, I was too thorough? I didn't know that was possible...most of it was stuff like your name, address, etc.), and then you go in for an interview where the committee is allowed to grill you. And grill me they did. What was supposed to take no more than 45-minutes from start-to-finish lasted an hour and a half! I felt like I was floundering on many of the questions...I got the usual, "describe your call" (which, if you are thinking about ministry, you get tired of repeating over and over and over and ... again...it's kind of like when you are 7 years old and people keep asking you what grade you're in...or when you're in college and you get tired of saying your major or hometown). Other questions I expected were "so...now that you're serving as a pastor, how's it going? What have you learned? What's challenged you?" Stuff like that. I also learned that apparently giving your call as an image/allegory raises more questions for pastors who are used to thinking in words. They find it interesting, but feel compelled to ask a ton of (seemingly) pointless questions.

Everything seemed to be flowing along ok, until the committee brought up the issue of communion. Now, I must admit, I feel a certain thrill every time I receive communion, and an overflowing joy when I am priveleged to serve it to others. I daydream of the day when I can fully consecrate the elements. I happened to mention this in one of my written responses. Really, the reason I put it in there is not because I have a passion for communion (although I do), but to help solidify my justification for pursuing ordination as an elder who wants to go into extension ministry, and to keep from being pushed into deacon's orders when I don't feel called to that...even though it fits better with the extension ministry ideas. The committee spent a good 20-minutes grilling me on communion and my theology of communion (which I have no clue what mine is...heck, I haven't even taken my worship class at seminary yet!). I flubbed my way through, trying to give the answers they wanted while staying true to myself. It was nearly impossible. At one point, I had 4 pastors all asking me different questions, each searching for their own "catch phrase" answer...and 2 of them were mutally exclusive! Finally it ended, and most of them seemed satisfied when I broke into song (in case you're curious, I used "Big House" from Audio Adrenaline...and yes, I did the motions too..."it's a big, big table, with lots and lots of room!" where we can feast at the heavenly banquet).

I found out later that my mentor said that the committee was "wowed" by my responses (which I'm grateful for...becauase I have no clue what I said...I tried to write it down afterwards, and it was already a blur). Apparently, we have "a few things to work on" before the provisional exams in 2 years...but hey...I'm satisfied for now. (And yes, in case you are wondering, I was "provisionally certified," because the committee is waiting on a bunch of paperwork and docs to make it to my file before they can officially certify me...once that is all complete (which was no fault of mine...miracuously enough...), I will be officially certified).

But one of the questions that really got me thinking afterwards was "how has your calling changed since you were last before the DCOM?" (16-ish months ago). I flubbed my way through some sort of answer that basically said I had come to view pastoral ministry as the foundational piece for all ministry (how could I say otherwise if I'm serving an appointment?!?), and it's true...in the past few months, I've come to value the pastoral ministry more than I did before. But what I found myself wondering later was, "has my calling changed since I was last before the committee?" OR, "have I changed to better match my calling?" I don't have an answer...I'm still searching and discerning...but I thought that is an interesting twist on the question of call...does the call change to match the individual, or does the individual change to match the call? Or is it a combination of both? What do you think?

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