God's Waiting Room

Whew. I feel like I just finished a marathon! Last time I posted, I was in the midst of Holy Week. It's been a rollercoaster ride to the "finish" line...perhaps a more appropriate title would be "pit stop." I've finished the semester of seminary, successfully officiated at 2 funerals, am planning my Sundays off for the summer, and have been asked to guest preach and/or lecture at 2 churches! I am honored to be asked, but I also feel a little guilty by it all...it means I'm away from "my" 2 churches and then have to find someone to fill in for me...NOT an easy task. Few people want to preach to 25 people, twice, in little country churches a million miles from anywhere. Oh the dilemmas.

Sooo...I'm done classes, but I have not yet received my grades. Some days, I could care less...I prefer the not knowing to having to deal with the outcomes. Other days, I am anxiously checking the online system to see if anything has been posted (yeah, right). I feel caught in the limbo stages. Or in math-y terms, the liminal stages. Or in theological terms, the "already, but not yet."

In a way, this waiting time is a lot like my call and my ministry. I have already been certified as a candidate for ordination, and already pastor 2 churches...but I have not yet been commissioned or ordained. The wait can be beautiful and agonizing at the same time. On the one hand, this is providing me with excellent time and space to mature and grow as both a person (I am "just" 23) and as a pastor/theologian. This is a blessing because I feel that I need this time, this holy time. But at the same time, it is frustrating. I have some authority as a DS Hire Student Pastor, but not a lot. I can "do" communion for my congregations...sort of. I have to have it preconsecrated (blessed) before I can serve it. But that is a tangent for another day. I have the authority to do a lot, but not everything.

I feel like I am always waiting....for something. I'm not always sure what though. In many ways, I sympathize with the disciples in Luke and Acts (same story, told twice in two different ways) during the ascention of Christ. The Church observes Ascension Day on Thursday of this week, and Ascension Sunday (for those of us who don't do an "extra" mid-week service) this coming Sunday. The disciples were wondering and waiting for Jerusalem to be restored. They were wondering and waiting for the return of Jesus Christ--whose return they thought was imminent. They were wondering and waiting for what would become of them and the other followers now that Jesus was "gone." They were wondering and waiting for the "advocate," the "helper" the Holy Spirit that Jesus promised them...it would not come for a little while longer. The disciples were living in this "limbo-liminal-already/but not yet" state.

This state is a common theme in Paul's letters in the New Testament...we see it in Galatians and Hebrews (among other places). I even saw some of it in Isaiah in the Hebrew Bible! Check out these books for on this...I can't do them justice by telling you about them.

Sooo...while frustrated in this "limbo-liminal-already/but not yet" state, I can appreciate it as holy time...holy waiting...it's God's timing and God's waiting room for me. And that is a blessing...because there is no one better to have on your side than God! I know that God will care for me, and I rest assured in that. Now...gonna go check grades one more time...oh wait! This is God's waiting room...